• I’ve been keeping myself going with my interests in feminism and social justice of late. They give me something to focus on and I wouldn’t be able to give them up if I tried anyway!
• Been thinking a lot about the future. I’m not sure right now what my path is going to turn out like, but I’m trying to stay cool about it.
• I’m looking forward to Christmas. It’ll be nice to be home for a shortwhile. I’m working xmas eve too, so that’ll be interesting.
• Health-wise, I’ve been really weak lately. I don’t know if it’s caused by blood loss or my not eating. Probably both. My appetite has been vanishing really, but I am making an effort to remind myself to eat, and eat well.
• I think I’m going to make out some big to-do lists of my shorter and longer term goals. Just to keep my head on track.

I don’t really update here very often, and I think I’m going to start using this as an utterly boring headspace just for uneloquent little thoughts and whatnot. Feel free to unsubscribe if that’s not quite up your alley (I’d be surprised if it was).
I do have other presences on the internet though, like my tumblr, that’s really just a fun social-justice themed space, and my twitter which is me retweeting silly things and getting very angry about things in 140 character doses.

If you are bored and want to talk, the chances are I am bored and want to talk too (I’m making a super attempt at being social as you can see), my (super lame) email address is lemursaregreat@yahoo.ie and I promise I’m much more interesting when you get me actually talking about a subject (promise). I’m down with subjects like flavors of tea, webcomics, the new 52, anything at all.

Hope you’re keeping well, eh?

A lot of important issues were touched on including rights of children and persons with disabilities, but I guess the one that interested me the most was dialogue created on the strict abortion laws in Ireland.
From the IFPA website:

At the hearing today, France and Germany pressed the Government for further information on the implementation of the A, B & C judgment. The UK called on Ireland to legislate for the A, B & C judgment and the Netherlands recommended the introduction of a coherent legal framework and the provision of adequate services.

Five countries (Slovenia, Norway, Denmark, Spain and Germany) called on Ireland to go beyond the A, B & C judgment and either decriminalize abortion or allow for abortion in the case of rape, incest and when a woman’s health and wellbeing are at risk.

More analysis from the IFPA can be found here, along with info about A, B and C.

I am delighted to see this pressure being put on Ireland to modernise our laws on abortion access. I think it’s important now as much as ever that we, as citizens, make our voices heard and not allow the government to put this ratification on the long finger.
Here’s to the hope that safe and legal abortion access in Ireland is around the corner. <3

If you want to watch the whole review for yourself by the way, you can see it here!

Yep, I’m a bitch.

And you might be thinking that me getting angry at an interaction doesn’t matter. That no one will hear your racist joke, and you’re not really racist.

Well, newsflash mate: this is racism.
This is how racism (or sexism or heterosexism or cissexism or whatever) crawls its way into our fucking upper middle class community and fucking seeps into the cracks in our perfect facade. The hurtful things you say are a microcosm of the fucking institutionalized prejudice, and by making jokes/using slurs/making judgmental statements, you are part of that fucking institution. You are part of the reason that RASCISM, or SEXISM or ANY-OTHER-FUCKING-ISM you can think of is still alive today. Don’t try to smooth it over with your goddamn “I’m not a ______”, “I have ______ friends” or, failing that: “Lighten the fuck up, Mairead.”

I’ve had it.

Child Line – 1800 666 666 or Text ‘talk‘ to 50101 (ROI), 0800 1111 (UK)

Aware (Depression, Suicide helpline) – 0890 303 302 (ROI)

BodyWhys (Eating Disorder Association of Ireland) – 1890 200 444

Parentline (Helpline for Parents and Guardians) – 1890 927 277

Positive Options (Crisis Pregnancy Service) – Text “list” to 50444

Dublin Rape Crisis Centre – 1800 77 88 88

Women’s Aid (Domestic Violence Helpline) – 1800 341 900

Amen (Helpline for Male Victims of Domestic Abuse) – 046 9023 718

1life (Suicide Helpline) – 1800 247 100 or Text “help” to 51444

National LGBT Helpline – 1890 929 539

I thought I’d put together a concise list of Irish helplines for anyone who may need it! If there are any Irish helplines that you feel should be on this list, please let me know so I can keep it updated!

Save them, keep them, and use them whenever you need somebody to listen.

So recently, someone I know posted this as their status on facebook:
“Richard Branson, Barack Obama, Carl Sagan, Michael Phelps. What do they all have in common? All smoke or smoked pot. /randomthought.”
“Just saying, not everyone who smokes pot is a complete waster and in fact alcohol is probably worse for a person than pot is.”
(Note, I don’t have anything against this person, their status just got me thinking recently) So here’s what I think.

I don’t smoke weed personally. Never have before and never plan on. There are a lot of people my age who smoke it. There is a very commen opinion between cannibas users (both casual and regular users). That is that cannibis a) doesn’t hurt anyone, b) is much less harmful than alcohol or other recreational drugs, c) there is a lot of “anti-cannibis propoganda” out there, and d) cannibas should be legalised.

I’ll just say it again, what I say here is my opinion on cannibis. I would never, say, stop being friends with someone bacause they smoke it.

Here are just the reasons that I don’t smoke weed:
It alters how you feel. I don’t drink personally, because I don’t like the thought of acting in such a way that I wouldn’t when I’m sober. I like to think I am a person who will always take responsibility for my actions. Similarly cannibis puts you in a state of relaxation. I know from hearing friend’s reports that being realistic, it stops you caring so much about everything. And being in a state of not giving a shit about anything is really just a state I don’t want to be in.
It might not be worse than alcohol/other drugs, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. Firstly note, I believe that if the discovery of the process of engulfing ethanol was discovered today, it would be illegal. Comparing things like that is ridiculous. Getting shot with a shotgun would be a lot worse than getting shot with a pistol, but that doesn’t mean pistol wounds are a-ok. Frankly, it’s silly rationalization. There is reasearch back and forth on whether cannibas causes long term physical effects or not. Tbh though, the effects of weed are not my main gripe with the drug.
My main gripe with cannibis is that by using it, you are funding the drug trade. There are no two ways about this. Try excuses like “I don’t buy it myself”, “It’s my friend’s weed”, “I personally know the dealer, and he’s a good guy.” Don’t try to fool yourself. People are killed everyday, brought illegally into the country, families are destroyed.
And I know the response to this, it’s “well that wouldn’t happen if they legalised cannibis!”
No, that wouldn’t happen if you stopped doing drugs.
Personally, I’m undecided on the matter of legalisation of cannibis. I can see the pros and cons on both sides. But right now, today, in Ireland, you using weed is having this effect. If you really care about this shit you’d cop on.
Don’t even think that “Oh but cannibis is a grand drug, those drug lords are only to do with the harder stuff.” I even saw a profile the other day of a Thai man who was promised if he came to Britan he would be given a job and earn money. So he left behind his family and only discovered on arrival that this job was to grow weed. And after the drugs bust who got incarcerated? The Thai man.
You smoking weed funds this shit.

Right now as I’m typing this, I’m getting pretty angry.
Do whatever the hell you want to your own body, when you start actually destroying other people’s lives to fit in with your friends, that’s when I get pissed off and that’s where you are being a selfish asshole.

And with that, I’ve let off my steam.
Again, I wouldn’t start disliking someone just because they smoke. It’s your choice. Just don’t blind yourself with misphrased falsities and no desire to take reponsibility for your actions.

xxx

I try promise myself:
I won’t fall apart.
Not today.

You look at me so slyly
But only when I’m smiling.
Every other time your head looks down.

I sigh and then I frown.
I write this moment down,
‘Cause I cannot paint pictures with my tongue.

xxx

It was the last night of the Electric Picnic festival and I wanted to have a good one. So the line-up for one of the stages for the end of the night went:
-Stephen Malkumus and the Jicks
-Hadoken!
-Conor Oberst
Now you see, I like Stephen Malkumus. And I like Conor Oberst. But I don’t like Hadoken!. Not at all.

But it so happened that I was there alone. I was 15, of course I was alone. So I had not much to do other than burn the night away staying in the tent (there was an hour break in between the acts) all evening.
So, I watched and bopped along to Stephen Malkumus. That was all very dandy. After Steve left the stage, the tent began to empty, so I wriggled my way up to the very front and centre, right in front of the stage.
There was a girl standing beside me that she had been camping at the front of this tent all day because she was in love with Conor Oberst. She had short pink hair and was wearing a tshirt and jeans. Imagine Ramona Flowers, but much less cool. Like Ramona Flowers, but very annoying. That was the girl I was next to.
A little time passed, and Hadoken! were going to be on stage in about ten minutes, so the tent filled up. It was a very different crowd who were there for Stephen Malkumus.

Hadoken! came out on stage, and it seemed to work out that I was placed in the very front row, stood directly in front of the lead singer. The crowd seemed to heave in time with their songs. Jumping up and down and shouting every  word of every track up at the stage. I think I’ll say it again: I don’t like Hadoken!. So as every one else danced and sang along, I was sat in front of the main singer, not knowing any of the words and standing pretty much still as a statue.

It was weird, but I was alone so it was both a better and worse experience for that.

In the hour leading up to Conor Oberst coming on stage, the tent filled up faster. This time it was not the crowd who watched Stephen and it certainly wasn’t the crowd who moshed at Hadoken!. It was a crowd of people who actually wished this was a Bright Eyes concert (myself included).
Not-Ramona-Flowers had been talking to me some more between downing plastic cups of Jameson. She asked me what I thought of Conor Oberst’s solo album. i had never listened to it. I replied that it was pretty good. After all this girl was really in love with Conor, I wouldn’t like to upset her.

Conor Oberst was sick on stage. The good kind of sick. Yes, he was horribly drunk, and called the drummer from the Jicks onto the stage and made out with her (I do like to think she was his girlfriend, but you know, I’m really not sure). But that aside, the music was amazing. There was a lovely atmosphere in the tent (despite anti-Ramona screaming her lungs out, confessing her love to Conor the whole way through). And all in all, I had a good time.

I can’t say there are too many events in my past that I can look back on and smile about. But in this one, I was completely alone, and happy that way. It’s a good feeling.

I think the past year or so has completely owned my previous life at being really damn great. Every day’s a little bit better. But I think when people are talking about their wild teenage years, I can remember the day I saw Conor Oberst and feel okay with that.

xxx

And sometimes, it is a tempest.
It is a torrent storming through your veins and hurricane within your ribs.
All your bones have cracked, and the pain is unbearable.

I’m not sure which is worse.

I’m not trying to be fucking poetic.
That’s just how these things go.

xxx

I’ve decided the change direction with what I want to do in college. Now, it’ll hopefully be an arts in english and media studies! And then after that I guess doing something like writing for a music or film magazine/blog/something would be pretty awesome. Or something like going into theatre production. It’s pretty open-ended which I like! I’ll do a post here soon on my opinions of music and film commentary and criticism actually, I have a lot to say about it I think…
I have too many opinions on things.

Talked to a man recently about the thin line between opinionated and judgemental, twas interesting.

But yeah, I’m still on the mend, so it looks like I’m going to be studying from home for the meanwhile.
So if you feel like a dropping me an email or pm or whatever to break the monotony for me, I probably super appreciate it. Lemme know what your favourite song is, or what you think of tea or something.
Chats make my day!

once

In other news and things, I’ve been setting myself goals for tricking in the new year. Hopefully once the weather picks up a bit I can return to throwing off my shoes and practising flimsy B-kicks in my garden again!

Just after finishing the first Mistborn book, by Brandon Sanderson. Great characters, nice plot, great escapism… I’m enjoying it a lot! It’s nice to have a few different worlds to get lost in during the days.

Hope you wee mites are keeping well too.
Strength and hope have never meant as much to me in my life as they do now.
God that sentence was a train wreck.

Strength strength strength <3

xxx

Life’s been trundling on to some degree. Been thinking about everything again. It actually feels pretty great!

You said “I’ll build you a bed of cactus where you could sleep when the night is too sharp.”
I said “I’ll cover you with wax and light your hair like a wick when the night is too cold.”

I’m able to finish books again. Which is great. I fell into the habit of reading three quarters of a book and then stopping for no reason. It’s not something I did on purpose. Maybe there’s some grander subconscious reasoning behind why it happened, or maybe it was just that my concentration would roll off with any passing breeze.

grr

I’m happier now.
And that’s no small statement.

And I know I’m being very uninteresting right now, but all I can think about is you.

So thank you.

xxx